You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
