is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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