the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
