That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
