The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
