he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize