the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
