The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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