I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
