come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
