Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
