He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
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i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
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You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
When are your genitals available?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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