yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize