Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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