My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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