dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
