you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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