she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
