Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think I am morally bankrupt
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
