if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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