You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
