I wanna passion pit in your ass
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
