Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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