it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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