Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
