I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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