Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
