She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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