ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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