I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
