My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
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he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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