also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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