I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
