do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
This is the high leading the old right now
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
