Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
