Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
