she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
