the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
