Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
