just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
