I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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