Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
