i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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