My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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