did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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