I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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