jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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