Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
