I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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