marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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