Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
