exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
