Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
