but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
