the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
