Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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