She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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