Whod you bang
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
