why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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