she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
