Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
