I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
