Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
