His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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