Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
