I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
