It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
