Screwed.edu
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
