I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
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I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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